Communicating Effectively While On A Conference Call

What kind of communication style do you think you use? A common collection of four communication styles includes assertive, passive, passive-aggressive, and aggressive. Any of those seem familiar to you?

1. Passive communication style. This communication style seeks to avoid confrontation at all costs. They don't talk much, rarely ask questions, and don't do much at all. They seek to not rock the boat ever. Passives know it's safer not to react and that it's better to disappear than to stand up and be noticed.

2. Aggressive communication style. Aggressive communication always involves manipulation. Aggressive people attempt to make people do what they want by pretending to be hurt (imposing guilt) or by using anger to intimidate and control others. We seek to get our needs met immediately. Aggressive behavior is appropriate for sports or war, but it will never work in any kind of healthy relationship. However, the most aggressive sports rely on relationship building and rational coaching strategies. And wouldn't war be avoided if agressives sought to negotiate or assert themselves rather than control others.

3. Passive-aggressive communication style. A combination of both above styles, passive-aggressives do two things at once. They avoid direct confrontation, but attempt to gain some semblance of control through guilt or manipulation tactics. Any thoughts about making that certain someone who needs to be "taken down a notch or two" suffer, and you've stepped right into the emotional and reactive world of the passive-aggressive. This style of communication often leads to over-dramatized office politics and hurtful rumors.

4. Assertive communication style. The most effective and healthiest form of communication is the assertive style. It's how we naturally express ourselves when our self-esteem is intact, giving us the confidence to communicate without games and guilt.

When we are being assertive, we work to create quality and satisfying relationships and solutions. We communicate our needs clearly and without hesitation. While we care about the relationship and seek to find a solution, we know our limits and refuse to be pushed beyond them. The assertive communication style is the least utilized for the majority of people.

Which one are you? Anything you see to work on? Do your passive tendencies reflect badly on your conference call? Are you too aggressive? Do you over-dramatize office politics? Do you stand up for your boundaries?

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AccuConference | The Fake Smile

The Fake Smile

Only those who know you, recognize it. It is a disguise to protect you and mask your true reaction. It is frequently used when facing a loss; whether it is a job, a promotion, a loved one, your youthful appearance or even your hair.

Recently, I had a fake smile day. I found myself dreaming most of it and not getting much done. I am a "Doer" not a "Thinker", so checking off a list at the end of the day has always been important. This day, I allowed myself to dream. Dream of what could have been, should have been and what I still want to be. I allowed my dreams rather than my actions to be a better part of the day. It made me cherish existence a little more when I was able to snap back to reality.

I started my day with a fake smile and somewhere along the way. I felt the smile and allowed it to be real. I set this feeling free. It is a not a great day, but I challenge myself to make it a good day, because I realize that life is a gift and a dream can make it even better. If you can use the fake smile long enough, it may evolve into you actually feeling like smiling. And if you take some time to dream, you may find a reason to smile.

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