Your Body Language and Confidence

A few years ago, I was hanging out with some of my younger cousins and surprised the “country girls” by wearing a snazzy pair of zebra print purple heels. They asked me how I managed to walk in those shoes and I informed them that I “walk with authority.”

It’s amazing how a clothing change or a new pair of shoes can make you feel more confident. I wrote about success on the debate team being somewhat wrapped into my power shoes, but what are some other changes you can make in how you walk and move that can boost your confidence?

Carry Yourself Well

How you hold yourself plays a role in how you see yourself. So the first place to start in making changes to your body language is to hold yourself a little higher. To appear more confident, you need to act more confident.

  • Posture is the most imperative part of carrying yourself. Put your shoulders back and keep your spine straight.
  • Hold your chin up when you walk. Looking down at the ground while walking is an indicator of unhappiness.
  • Make eye contact and smile to strangers. Not only is this a sign of confidence, but it also makes you feel better when you smile.

Movements Send A Message

Any movement you make can send a message. These messages can be positive or negative, so one of the most important body language changes you can make is to be aware of how you’re moving.

  • Putting your hands on your hips is an indication of being mad or having lost patience. Even if you feel like you’re just in a resting position, the message sent is one of disapproval.
  • Try not to make fidgeting gestures like shaking your legs or tapping your nails against the table. Not only will your nails create an annoying sound, but it indicates impatience.

Your Hands and Arms Serve as a Door

The movements made with arms in communicating tells a lot about the openness of a speaker. Those who cross their arms “close the door” to others feeling welcome to chime in or discuss.

  • You can make gestures open by holding your hands apart with your palms pointing upward.
  • Clasping or wringing your hands in front of you or touching your hair or face is a sign of anxiety or being unsure.

The good news - you can control your own body language. Remember you have complete control over the way you carry yourself which translates into the way you are perceived. How will you walk with authority today?


Looking for ways to improve your speaking abilities? Here are four more resources:

Writing a Meeting Agenda

An agenda is an important part of any large meeting running smoothly. When dealing with multiple speakers or parties on a conference call, assigning specific time increments to each speaker or Q&A session will keep everyone on track.

When I think of something that needs an agenda, I think of a large event that has multiple speakers and subject matters. An agenda, in my opinion, is to let me know who's speaking, how long they will have the floor, and give the main idea of what information they are going to present.

What makes an effective agenda?

Pick a type of agenda. Did you know there is more than one kind of agenda? I didn't until I started doing research for this post. The most popular agenda is called a "common agenda". This kind of agenda will call the meeting to order, offering a reading of the agenda, and then call for business matters to begin. The second most popular is a "priority agenda". This agenda places items of business in order of importance so that the highest priority items are sure to be addressed. Those are just two of the most popular ones, but there are a lot of different ways to arrange an agenda.

How detailed will your agenda need to be? First, consider if your agenda is going to be sent to just speakers or if all attendees will get a copy. You also need to decide just how deeply you will break out the agenda. Do you need to list every speaker or subject matter? A good rule is to break out the agenda when you will have two (or more) speakers and / or two (or more) subject matters. If you’re doing a town hall type of conference where multiple speakers will weigh in on one topic, listing the speakers should be sufficient.

Have someone else look at it. Get a second pair of eyes on the agenda to make sure you didn't leave anything out or get your timezones mixed up. Since you’ll be sending out your agenda with your invitation (right?) you don’t want to have to update this document multiple times. Limit changes as much as you can, and letting a second person read over it will help.

Like most things when it comes to having successful conference and webinar events, the amount of time you spend planning will have a great effect on how attendees respond before, during, and after your conference is over.

How to Lead a Successful Conference Call

Leading a successful conference call isn’t just about getting a reliable conferencing service and calling into the conference. There are things that you have to do before it’s ever time to call into your conference to ensure that it will be successful. As a leader, it’s important that you do three things well before your next conference: pick a good date and time, get people to attend, and present compelling and thought provoking information.

Here are some tips from our e-book How to Plan, Setup, and Execute a Successful Webinar.

Pick the Right Date and Time

You’ll never be able to pick the perfect time for everyone but what we suggest is picking a time that is good for most of your participants. We’ve found that the most popular times are right before or after lunch (10 AM and 1 PM in respective timezones) and meetings held on Tuesdays or Thursdays get the best turnouts. Avoid Monday meetings unless you need to get everyone ready for the week.

Send a Better Email Invite

The easiest and most common method to achieve getting the word out about your meeting is to send an email blast or calendar item directly to participants. The problem with this is that your emails will often get buried in other requests and notifications. Make your subject lines quick and focus on the who, what, and when. A good example: Marketing Webinar Featuring Bob - The Greatest Marketer Ever.

Bonus: Use registration pages and know who is going to attend your event. You can also use the system to send out reminders so that people remember to attend your event.

Create Great Presentations

You can pick the most popular time of day and send out the greatest invitation known to the invite world but if you aren’t presenting something of worth then you won’t get people to stick around for very long. Content is what your participants came to the presentation for, but there’s a fine line between too much and not enough information on your slides. Keep the text to display to a minimum and use visuals to make your points. Remember the 10 / 20 / 30 rule from Guy Kawasaki - no more than ten total slides, twenty minutes of presenting, and thirty point font for your slides(to keep you from cramming too much information on a slide.)

Leading a conference call is more than just using the mute button when you should and sticking to your agenda. It’s about what you do to plan the call, how you get people to participate, and presenting information your audience wants to hear.

You can get more great webinar tips by downloading and reading our ebook.

Facts About Aggressive Driving

Last week, while sitting at a red light beside a gas station, I noticed an ambulance turn on lights and sirens, then exit from the opposite side of the gas station. During rush hour traffic, the EMTs needed to get through a busy intersection - the one I was waiting to cross. As the light turned green, the ambulance weaved into the turn lane to go through the intersection, so I waited. The guy behind me did not appreciate my adherence to the law and proceeded to lay on his horn to rush me from the light, and then once we could cross he tailgated me and… well, lets just say he made a number of gestures at me.

Since I live in the second worst commute in the country, I’m used to aggressive drivers. After DFW was named the third worst area in the nation to drive in, I did some research and found some interesting tidbits about aggressive driving / "road rage".

  1. In 2008, there were 61,954 serious accidents on Texas highways.
  2. Aggressive driving is a traffic violation, and becomes a criminal offense once the drivers yell or gesture at each other.
  3. Ten states consider aggressive driving a class 2 misdemeanor.
  4. For every ten MPH you drive over 50 MPH, your risk of death or serious injury doubles.
  5. 60% of all accidents in 2009 were caused by aggressive driving.
  6. Three out of every four fatal accidents involving an 18-wheeler are not the fault of the 18-wheeler driver.
  7. Think twice before cutting in front of a big truck to get through traffic. A semi moving at 55 MPH can take up to a football field to come to a stop.

David Byrd had a similar experience, but with a different outcome, while waiting on an ambulance. "An anxious driver honked a few times at me, and then I pointed to the ambulance. The driver, after seeing the ambulance, put up his hand in apology. So what made the guy behind me react in anger and the guy behind him take a breath? When does the every day driver become the jerk flipping you off?"

There is research showing that the way someone drives is a direct correlation to their personality. While there is no formal profile on someone who is an aggressive driver, research shows a correlation between aggressive driving habits and following personality traits:

  • Found to have more judgmental and disbelieving thoughts about others.
  • Tend to express their anger and other emotions outwardly while also acting impulsively.
  • Aggressive drivers are more likely to inaccurately access risks on a cognitive level.
  • Have more competitive personalities or are even considered “egotistic”.

Curbing aggressive driving isn’t just about the other people who are on the highways with you. You can make some changes to the way you drive to lower the chance that you encounter an aggressive driver.

  • The left lane is for passing only, not cruising along at the posted speed limit.
  • Don’t react to aggressive drivers (even if the temptation is usually there to lay on the horn to some idiot in a white Prius who barely missed you while trying to merge across six lanes of traffic at the last minute).

Although, when following these precautions you can still run into that one driver that makes their aggression apparent to everyone on the roads. Mary Williams recalls one encounter she witnessed not too long ago. "I was driving into work one morning when I ran into a pretty bad accident involving a construction truck. Traffic was at a standstill. This woman driving what looked like a Land Rover decides to move from the center lane to the right lane. Without turning on her blinker to give any courtesy, she just scoots on over. I don’t think she checked to see if she was clear because she ended up forcing a driver of a compact car onto the shoulder to avoid a collision. The driver of the compact car took this offensively. They drove on the shoulder and then cut off the driver of the SUV. I then hear horns blaring and see obscene gestures being thrown out. In my opinion, both parties were being aggressive. Luckily, neither of them caused another accident."

So when you encounter an aggressive driver, remember that maybe they just a had really bad day. Leave them alone and don't provoke them. They probably aren't thinking 100% logically. Things can get out of hand very quickly on the road. 

And remember - if you wouldn’t act like that in public, why are you acting like that on the highway? (Thanks MNDot)

Slow down folks, drive carefully, because we’re all in this together.

Here are some links to some interesting research and findings about aggressive driving and road rage:

http://www.nhtsa.gov/Aggressive

http://dmv.dc.gov/page/behaviors-aggressive-driving

http://www.progressive.com/vehicle-resources/deal-with-road-rage/

http://home.trafficresourcecenter.org/Traffic/Aggressive-Driving.aspx

http://www.apa.org/monitor/jun05/anger.aspx

How to Make Conference Calls Fun

Okay, maybe "fun" is the wrong idea here. The words conference call are not exactly going to inspire anyone to think of a delightful day at the circus or spending a beautiful afternoon whirling around on your favorite roller coaster.

When people search for how to make a conference "fun", I think that they are looking for ways to make calls more effective. Implementing some of the rules on your next conference can help with the lack of effectiveness.

Rule #1 – Only Have Conferences When You Need To

This brings up a good question. What is "need to"? It’s going to vary for you but Al Pittampalli, the author of The Modern Meeting Standard, says you should only have a meeting when there is something to decide. This isn’t going to cover everything and it’s not going to apply for all circumstances, but it is a good benchmark to start from.

Rule #2 – Consider Including Video Conferencing

Even if you’re meeting with coworkers you’ve seen a number of times, integrating video conferencing can help increase the effectiveness of your meetings. A video element adds the ability to read non verbal communication to a meeting, as well as providing a way to keep everyone accountable. Not just for attendance, but for how well they are paying attention. If you see someone staring off into space or working on something else, you can call on them and bring them back to the topic at hand.

Rule #3 – Prepare for the Call

Finally, make sure you prepare for your meetings and conferences. No one wants to be in a meeting where the moderator is stumbling over their notes. When you prepare, you can get to the meet of the meeting quickly and efficiently. You don't want to waste anyone's time, and your participants will appreciate that. One way to prepare for your call is to write out your agenda and make sure you know what to say regarding each point.

Are you following these conference call rules? What rules can you contribute to make your conference calls more fun?

The Public Relations Mess Clorox Can’t Seem to Clean

I’m not afraid to admit I have a deep affection for cleaning. Most people who do have a "scent of choice". Personally, I love the smell of Pine Sol. I picked up a new bottle a few weeks ago, noting the “longer lasting scent” label. Great, right?

The problem is that it smells nothing like my favorite smell. In fact, the "longer lasting scent" down right stinks. After some complaining, I decided to see if I was just being picky, and went to the Pine Sol Facebook community. I found vindication in other fans feeling like the new stuff is awful.

Given some of the responses from customers and the brand responses, it appears that the people at Clorox (the makers of Pine Sol) have created a bit of a disaster, and they are breaking all the rules when it comes to a social media crisis. In fact, it’s the public relations disaster you haven’t heard about.

PR happens on the web now, and if you’re not prepared to respond, you might have a blow back that you didn’t expect or want. Here are some key takeaways from what I’ve witnessed to their response in the middle of a customer crisis.

If you don’t provide a reason or a message - your community will hunt one down for you. The problem with communities is that they can sometimes be wrong about a companies motivation for a particular move. It’s your job as a brand representative to provide the message so that the community doesn’t make up their own.

Using a form response to address the aforementioned concerns is usually a bad move. The form response being used by the social media managers on this page are especially unforgiving, because the only thing that is changed is the name. It goes a little something like this: "Hi, this is *NAME* and we understand your concerns, but we totally user tested it and everyone loved it. It’s also better than before."

Deleting / Removing negative comments only make you look worse. When you make a move that upsets your customers (no matter if you plan on sticking with it or reverting) it’s better to accept the criticism, rather than try to hide it. Rejecting a negative review is only going to make the situation seem suspicious. You need to be prepared to respond to any comments - good or bad.

Even though you probably haven’t heard about this public relations mess, hopefully some of these take always will be something you can apply and be ready for in the event you come across a similar situation. What PR situation have you learned from?

Kindle Matchbook and AccuConference

This week, Amazon announced Kindle Matchbook. Of announcements that don’t involve an update to the popular Kindle e-Book reader, this is one of the more exciting. So what is Matchbook and what does it do?

In 1995, when Amazon started to sell books in their online store, things like e-readers weren't selling like corn dogs at the county fair. If you wanted to read a book, you had to buy it, wait for it to mail, and then turn pages. Amazon Matchbook will go back into your history of orders and offer you a discounted Kindle price, or in some cases a free copy, of the electronic version of a previously purchased book. The only caveat is that the publishers provide the discounts on a book-by-book basis. Hopefully they will do that, but if they choose not to enroll in the program, your book will not have the discount. The program will extend all the way back to when they first began to sell books through the marketplace.

This program is really cool because not only can you get reunited with a book you might have forgotten that you read (and loved) but it’s also a great way to help us all "upgrade" and use our Kindle’s more. It is a great move for consumers and a really smart move for Amazon – people who might have lost books along the way might be encouraged to buy an e-reader now.

AccuConference published a book last year and a lot of you went and ordered a copy of the physical book. (Thanks!) We signed up to offer our book, Lessons from the Bored Room, as part of the Kindle Matchbook program. If you've purchased a copy of our book, when Amazon rolls out the program in October, you’ll be able to add our conferencing, webinar, and video conference book directly to your Kindle – for free.

If you haven’t purchased a copy – you can grab a discounted copy from Amazon.com and receive the Kindle version in October.

Delivering a Five Minute Presentation

When might you use a five minute presentation?

Some situations like when you've been asked at the last minute to make a quick introduction for someone else or a quick product announcement in front of a group are where you usually see the five minute presentation show up. They can be very useful tools in business because they force you to be effective and on point, since time is limited.

To make a great five minute speech you need to do some of the following.

Focus on a Single Point

When your time is limited to five minutes, the best thing to do is to derive one clear main idea from the information being discussed and present that as a single focus. You simply don’t have the time to elaborate much beyond a main point. Decide what the main point is and build the rest of the presentation around it.

Come Out with a Bang

You already know that there is a limited amount of time to catch your audience’s attention. When your speech is compacted into a five minute window, even more effort is required to get that audience to sit up and pay attention. You want to get participants attention in the best and most effective ways possible, and starting strong is going to be the best way to do that. Use something like a quick quote or an anecdote to create something amazing.

Close Like a Pro

Okay, your five minutes are up. Now is the time to reiterate your opening and bring it home for the listener. What was your main point of your five minutes? Now is the time to reiterate that to your audience. Maybe your goal was to introduce yourself – now would be the time to state your name again, and to invite people to come mingle with you. Maybe you wanted to get everyone amped for the next speaker about to walk on the stage, so remind everyone now of why they should be excited for the person about to take over.

Five minute presentations might seem like an overwhelming task, but they should only be used in certain situations. Your five minute presentation isn't always going to cut it but it’s good to have one on the back burner, just in case you need it.

How do you deliver a five minute presentation?

The SimCity Mayors Guide to Public Relations

SimCity is a game that has been around for nearly as long as I can remember. In March of 2013, the latest version was rebooted and it wasn't met with the warmest of regards. Server crashes, the requirement to be 'online' to play, and small map sizes for your lots were just a few of the problems that the developers at Maxis and EA dealt with in the first few weeks of the highly anticipated launch.

As an avid SimCity mayor and the creator of many fine cities, it always seemed funny that the creators of the greatest city building games and arguably the most recognized franchise didn't do what their game has been teaching us about preparation forever.

Have a Plan

When you're a new mayor, you take a moment to sit back and determine where the best place for things might be. Which way is the wind blowing? You don't want to build your residential areas where the industrial pollution will blow. Where are your water supplies and other minerals? These are all important things when it comes to building a new city.

When you take on a new marketing strategy or start a new PR push, you need to have a plan. Going into it blind means you won't have a true understanding of what your direction should be. Is your goal to get national exposure for a brand or company? You're going to take a different direction that a client that has a goal of twenty thousand new Twitter followers.

Prepare for Disasters

For the SimCity Mayors we know that there is nothing more annoying than being in the middle of making tons of cash and then the screen starts to shake, or in your speakers you hear the inevitable horrible roar of the tornado warning sirens. That's right; it's time for SimCity to unleash a random disaster upon your humble town.

In public relations, it's not so obvious when there are warning signs. You can't always be prepared for something to go wrong in your marketing strategy or public relations campaign, but you can always plan around the "what ifs". Make a list of potential disasters (hopefully no Godzilla strikes) and then have an action plan for crisis management.

Give it Time to Grow

Once you've got the basics of your city in place and your cash flow is positive, there's a rush to build up your city quickly and increase the population, so that you can get more money. In life and SimCity, it's not always the best idea expand your small rural town to a big metropolis before you are completely ready.

Initial campaign success does not always translate into long term dollars. While you're enjoying increased exposure, give it some time to sustain before you hire additional staff or move into a new office building. That way you know your growth is sustainable and the additional staff or space is truly needed.

A new public relations or marketing campaign is challenging and exciting, just like being the new mayor of a virtual town. Putting your plan in place and being prepared to act from the start are often the best ways to manage things in the long run.

Identifying and Treating Speech Impediments

Growing up, my mother used to tell me to open my mouth to speak because I would never open my mouth to make certain words. I wasn't having any problems communicating and no one in school seemed to think it was an issue. I did a lot of exercises to try to enunciate but no matter what I did it just didn't help. So I just spoke at a higher volume, which my mother was equally not a fan of.

At thirteen, I went to the orthodontist and he discovered that I had a medical condition called Ankyloglossia. In non-medical terms it's called being tongue-tied. It's the presence of a small bit of membrane (called a frenulum) that attaches the tip of your tongue to your lower jaw. A quick little surgery removed it and I could speak clearly.

There are a lot of things that can cause a speech impediment. You may stutter or find yourself losing your train of thought when you speak. If you think you have a speech impediment, you can try to diagnose and correct it.

Start at the Doctor

There are lots of factors that can cause a speech impediment and you should start with a visit to your doctor. Your impediment could be medical or physical. A doctor would be able to refer you to someone that can help you. For me it was an oral surgeon but it might require a trip to an ENT, or even a neurologist. Talk to your doctor about your symptoms and go from there.

Practice Your Speech

Once the cause of your impediment is determined, you can develop a plan of action to move beyond it. If your impediment isn't caused by a medical issue, you may be able to resolve some of the problems by making simple changes to your body language.

  • Good posture when speaking will help you maintain cadence and tone.
  • Reading out loud will help you maintain a good rhythm and can aid in treating a stutter.
  • Use tongue-twisters to help with a lisp. Lisps are especially prevalent with "s" and "r" sounds. Practicing with "Sue sells sea shells down by the sea shore" can get your lips and tongue used to making those sounds.

Find a Speech Therapist

Correcting an impediment in an adult is a difficult process because by the time we reach adulthood it becomes harder to change the habits of our brain, including speech. If you are truly concerned with improving your speech, you might need to find a therapist who can help you learn the mechanics of your speech patterns and make improvements to them. Your impediment might never be 100% gone but a therapist is trained to teach you how to manage it.

Having a speech impediment can be embarrassing, but more than anything, it's frustrating. Have you ever had a speech impediment? How did you address the issue?