We all communicate when we are around another human being, even if no one is saying anything. Body language can speak volumes. Even the fact that a person is at a place at a particular time can say it all. What isn’t intrinsically clear to a lot of people is that we don’t always communicate when we speak, or at least don’t communicate well. Often and most especially in arguments, people are thinking they are speaking clearly, but the other person just won’t get it… or won’t shut up. Obviously there is no communication happening, but there are things you can do to make it happen.
Sarah Fenson in Inc.com wrote about several tips you can do to improve your communication. One is to keep your emotions out of the conversation. Often you simply cannot hear what the other person is saying simply for your frustration with the situation, or the indignity that you feel. Another tip is to acknowledge we have personal filters that sometimes make us hear what we want to hear. Asking for clarification, or repeating back the high points are good ways to bypass the filter. Two other great tips are to look for common ground with the other person and maintain a positive outlook. Both of which will help you go far to overcome miscommunications.
Some specific tips for good communication through speaking come from Bert Webb’s blog, Open Loops. There are two that especially stand out. The first, making eye contact will not only let the other person know you are paying attention, but it will also pin their attention to what you are saying. The second tip is to make sure your facial expressions, body language, and words all deliver the same message. If you are smiling while delivering bad News, the mixed message will ensure mixed-up communications.