There are some words that are never used. In a post earlier, I wrote about the power of language and how our fear of it was hurting our exchange of ideas. Our fear of saying the wrong thing can put up a roadblock to changing the world and the way we see things. Writing that post made me think about the fact that while we hesitate to say things that may be seen as controversial we don’t hesitate to let someone else know when we feel like they have crossed the line.
We use the “o” word liberally in communication. We ponder the ramifications before we say something and wonder if our statement will inspire someone to use the “o” word in response. What is the “o” word? Easy – offended .
When I was a kid, I loved to learn and use new words. When I learned the word hate my good Southern mama told me that I shouldn’t use that word as liberally as I did. Hate had a strong connotation. Hating something meant that you wanted to see it disappear forever – so when I would get mad at my brother and tell him that I hated him, it meant I wanted to see him disappear, and I didn’t really want to do that. Now, I’m sure that a lot of the other mothers out there have told you all the same thing and maybe you do the same thing with your children. It’s a difficult balance to try to teach someone that there are certain words that have a stronger meaning than others.
Offended is one of those words to me and I’m concerned about how often I hear it tossed around in common language. Merriam-Webster defines offended very generally as “to cause dislike, anger, or vexation“. This is a pretty broad definition, in my opinion, and maybe when we drop the “o” bomb we’re not taking it too far, but that word has always meant more to me.
I’ve always felt like this word has too powerful of a tone for every time you disagree with something. I made a list of some times where I believe that offended is not always needed. Disagreement. Some people are not very good at debating or holding their own opinions. That’s fine – not everyone can be a great debater. But the word “offended” is often thrown into a conversation simply to end it. Saying “That offends me” when it really doesn’t isn’t the proper use of the word. Instead, just simply say that you disagree and explain why you feel that way but remember the rules of debate and don’t cross any lines. As a warning You know it’s true but any time we start a sentence with “I don’t want to offend anyone” the entire room immediately goes on edge and we all know you’re about to say something really horrible. If you ever have to start a sentence like that – just don’t.
The words we choose to use have a lot of power – they are designed to have power but when we over use a word it loses the power that it’s been given. Just like the word “hate” the word offended is one of these words. Using it every time you feel wronged will only lessen the power of the word and when a truly offensive situation appears, the meaning will be lost. Do you think there are any powerful words in language that are overused? Does it worry you that these words will loose their meaning over time?