Where We Came From

I have a two year old granddaughter. It has been fascinating watching her grow from a fuzzy bean on a screen to actually having a dialect with her. Although I have raised two children I was so focused on feeding, cleaning, teaching, manners and trying not to totally mess up their psyche, that I missed some of the small stuff. With my granddaughter, I get a “do over” without all the worry.

The other day she was being fussy and I was trying to figure out what she wanted. Do you want to color? Your “nanimals”? Ellie (the elephant)? Juice? How about a snack? Everything I suggested was wrong! Then my sweet angel threw herself on the floor of the kitchen and started flailing her arms and legs. I believe that this is the age where our bodies are a cross between human and beast. I stepped back and let her go at it… I can do that, because I’m “Dama”. She would cry and look at me every once in a while, when I would look at her she would cry even louder not knowing what to do with my reaction or rather my non-reaction to her tantrum.

After a few minutes, she stopped. She laid quietly on the floor with her arms still covering her eyes. I bent down and gave her a kiss and asked if she was alright. She nodded yes. I said , “Are you done?” She nodded her head again and reached up for me to hold her. I wiped her tear stained face and saw her sleepy eyes. It was almost nap time. I took her to her bed and lay down beside her while “Violet the Bear” played soothing bedtime music. She went fast asleep. That was what she wanted.

I have had a few days like that. I am not sure what exactly I want or need and just need to escape for a moment and regroup. What a joy it would be to throw myself on the ground and flail until “Dama” can figure it out. But of course I can’t, my mother raised me with manners. And…..I prefer not to become “(whispers)the crazy lady down the hall”.

Sometimes you do just need to vent. Other times, you need to take a breather. And at other times, someone else will have the answer. As an adult, we don’t have the luxury of tantrums (and those adults that do, are avoided at all costs). Yet, it is fun to think that at one point in your life, you were two years old, doing a bad rendition of the break dance.